“Mirror mirror on the wall, please don’t show me how I’m small”. I am coming to truly understand that those in front of me are often a reflection of where I am in my own journey of personal development. And some days I do not always like what I see. Although it is easier to blame or see fault in others, in my quest to know myself on a deeper level, I am starting to say “I am ready to see my truth in its all”.
Today, the reflection presented in front of me was not one I prefer. For some time now I have understood the idea that when I do not like another’s action or words it is my opportunity to know myself on a deeper level and to explore why that impacts me as it does. Despite my knowing of this on an intellectual level (or maybe more accurately on a conscious level), my responses have not always been in line with who I would like to be. It is much easier to accuse, criticize, yell or speak in anger or even see myself as the victim. But in my quest for self discovery, I have chosen to do it differently this time. I did not react, I observed, listened and explored what was being triggered deep within.
Today, in this moment, in this opportunity, in this experience, I am choosing to do it differently. I am consciously choosing to reduce the gap between who I am and who I want to be; even when it is uncomfortable. This mirror being held up in front of me serves as a beautiful tool for seeing and witnessing this gap. It is not easy. It actually feels like sh*t. I feel frustrated, angry and deeply hurt, but I am also grateful for the insights and the opportunity to do it differently.
I cannot transcend what I do not know. My experiences reflect where I am. I must know myself in order to grow beyond and into the person I desire to be. This journey of self discovery is not always comfortable. Of late it has had some very difficult times, but I have never loved my life more than I do right now. It is an incredible feeling to take that step forward in the right direction, to do it differently and regardless of the outcome, knowing this step although not easy, is taking me to a place where what seemed impossible starts to become the possible.